Welcome to Stoned Template

"The blood of these whores is killing me!"


From Paul Morrissey's 1974 film 'Blood For Dracula', starring Udo Kier. Get the subtitled .gif from here img.photobucket.com


blood for dracula udo kier paul morrissey arno juerging opranoodlmantra

Intelligent conversation / Life Is Sweet (1991)


David Thewlis and Jane Horrocks in Mike Leigh's 1991 film 'Life Is Sweet'


david thewlis jane horrocks mike leigh life is sweet opranoodlmantra

ShakespeaRe-told: The Taming of the Shrew (the lift bit)


Starring Shirley Henderson and Rufus Sewell. Part of the 2005 BBC mini-series "ShakespeaRe-Told", which comprises modern re-tellings of 4 William Shakespeare stories.


shirley henderson rufus sewell shakespeare shakespeare-told taming shrew bbc opranoodlmantra

Hex -- Cassie and Azazeal foreplay


From the British TV series 'Hex' (season 1, episode 5 "Possession"). The song is "Satan's Seventh Bride" by Helicopter Girl (from her 2000 album 'How to Steal the World')


Hex azazeal michael fassbender christina cole cazazeal opranoodlmantra

"I'm A Bad Person"/ Whatever We Do 2003 (read description)


A short (and rather steamy) clip from the 2003 short film 'Whatever We Do', starring Robert Downey Jr, Amanda Peet, Tim Roth (the guy in the hat) and Zooey Deschanel (the blonde girl in the pool) WATCH THE WHOLE SHORT FILM HERE: www.youtube.com


robert downey jr rdj amanda peet whatever we do opranoodlmantra

What's it like being gay? / The Line of Beauty


From the 2006 miniseries "The Line of Beauty " starring Dan Stevens and Hayley Atwell. The song is "I'm In Love With A German Filmstar" by The Passions (I mean the song that she puts on at about 00:25)


the line of beauty dan stevens hayley atwell opranoodlmantra

"Imagine my skin rubbing against you..."


A clip from the 1996 movie 'Intimate Relations' with Rupert Graves and the late Laura Sadler. Watch the whole movie here: www.youtube.com NB! Can someone who is familiar with British accents tell me what accent he's speaking in?


intimate relations rupert graves laura sadler opranoodlmantra

Christoph Waltz in Ordinary Decent Criminal (2000)


Before he was Col. Hans Landa in 'Inglourious Basterds', Christoph Waltz had a small role in the 2000 Irish film 'Ordinary Decent Criminal', where he played a cowardly Dutch art dealer Peter, who was double-crossing a gang of art thieves by collaborating with the police. The film also stars Kevin Spacey and Colin Farrell. (Close captioned because of all the accents)


christoph waltz hans landa ordinary decent criminal kevin spacey colin farrell opranoodlmantra

Withnail & I - What about whats-his-name?


From 'Withnail & I'. Includes the "maybe HE f*cks arses?" monologue and the "perfumed ponce" conflict


withnail richard grant paul mcgann opranoodlmantra

Be Good Johnny Weir: snuffling Tara


From episode 7 "Back on Top", frisky part starts at 00:37


be good johnny weir opranoodlmantra

Paul Rudd in 'I Could Never Be Your Woman'


The song is (of course) "Your Woman" by White Town


could never be your woman icnbyw paul rudd michelle pfeiffer opranoodlmantra

Blood For Dracula (1974): opening credits with Udo Kier


From Paul Morrissey's 1974 film 'Blood For Dracula', starring Udo Kier and Joe Dallesandro. The song is "Old Age of Dracula" by Claudio Gizzi.


blood for dracula udo kier paul morrissey opranoodlmantra

"That girl is crazy"/ The Unbelievable Truth (1989)


From Hal Hartley's 1989 film The Unbelievable Truth, starring Adrienne Shelly, Robert John Burke, Edie Falco


unbelievable truth hal hartley edie falco robert john burke adrienne shelly opranoodlmantra

Animal passion in 'Naerata ometi' (1985)


A clip of Monika Järv and Hendrik Toompere Jr from the 1985 drama 'Naerata ometi' (Well, Come On, Smile) IMDB: www.imdb.com Btw, in case anyone was wondering - this is an Estonian movie and the language being spoken is Estonian. If you WANT TO SEE THE WHOLE MOVIE, message me and I'll send you the link (Or watch it here on YouTube: www.youtube.com )


naerata ometi well come on smile Игры Ð´Ð»Ñ Ð´ÐµÑ‚ÐµÐ¹ школьного возраÑта monika järv hendrik toompere jr arvo iho leida laius silvia rannamaa eesti estonia estonian opranoodlmantra

Breaking Maria's fall / Trust (1990)


From the movie TRUST, directed by Hal Hartley, starring Martin Donovan and Adrienne Shelly. (I know this part of the film has already been uploaded by other people, but I thought I'd add a shorter clip where there's pretty much only the falling scene, since it's one of my favourites)


trust hal hartley martin donovan adrienne shelly opranoodlmantra

"Conversations With Other Women" - in the elevator


Some people just can't keep their mouth shut. (is it just me or is the way the double screen splits up Aaron Eckhart's face at the beginning of the video kind of an eerie omen of him going on to play Two-Face?)


conversations with other women aaron eckhart helena bonham carter olivia wilde opranoodlmantra

"Kinda na(i)ve" / Trust (1990)


A poignantly adorable scene from the movie TRUST, directed by Hal Hartley, starring Martin Donovan and Adrienne Shelly


trust hal hartley martin donovan adrienne shelly opranoodlmantra

How to make an entrance / Meeletu (2006)


The first scene of the free-spirited nymphette portrayed by Mari-Liis Lill in director Elmo Nüganen's 2006 movie 'Meeletu' ('Mindless') IMDB: www.imdb.com Btw, in case anyone was wondering - this is an Estonian movie and the language being spoken is Estonian. If you WANT TO SEE THE WHOLE MOVIE, message me and I'll send you the link.


meeletu mindless mari-liis lill elmo nüganen rain simmul eesti film estonian estonia opranoodlmantra

"To know death, Otto..."/ Flesh For Frankenstein (1973)


"To know death, Otto, you have to f*ck life in the gallbladder" From Paul Morrisseys 1973 film 'Flesh For Frankenstein', starring Udo Kier and Arno Juerging. NB! When i first uploaded this clip, it was removed b/c it violated Youtube community guidelines. I'm guessing that the problem was that you could see a naked zombie in the original clip, so i cropped it out of this version (so that's what the Baron and his assistant are looking at on the right side of the screen)


Flesh for Frankenstein udo kier paul Morrissey arno juerging opranoodlmantra

"The Worst Bar Mitzvah ever" / Sixty Six (2006)


A clip from the 2006 movie "Sixty Six" Is it horrible that I find the bit about having to strangle a nazi on your Bar Mitzvah hilarious??


sixty six paul weiland gregg sulkin opranoodlmantra

Growing Rich (1992): "Don't be such a prude!"


A clip from the 1992 British series "Growing Rich" starring Rosalind Bennet as Carmen. The series is based on the novel of the same name by Fay Weldon. The song in the background is 'Walking On The Moon' by The Police.


growing rich Rosalind Bennett fay weldon page three girls feminism opranoodlmantra

Johnny Weir: "To get this mammoth thing shoved in me..."


From episode 5 (titled "Back in the USSR") from the reality series 'Be Good Johnny Weir'. Best part starts at 00:14


be good johnny weir opranoodlmantra

How to tell off leering creeps / Music from Another Room (1998)


"That pasty white gut cascades over your belt like water in a dream... What more could a woman want?" From the 1998 film "Music from Another Room", this clip stars Martha Plimpton and Jude Law.


music from another room martha plimpton catcall cat call diner pastry shop opranoodlmantra

Will a bear punish me?/ Nuga (2007)


A wonderfully random scene from director Marko Raat's 2007 film "Nuga" ("Knife") IMDB: www.imdb.com Btw, in case anyone was wondering - this is an Estonian movie and the language being spoken is Estonian. If you WANT TO SEE THE WHOLE MOVIE, message me and I'll send you the link.


nuga marko raat mait malmsten gert raudsep eesti estonia estonian opranoodlmantra

Most awkward father-daughter conversation EVER


From the 2002 Canadian film 'Punch', starring Michael Riley and Sonja Bennett www.imdb.com


punch michael riley sonja guy bennett freudian slip opranoodlmantra