Welcome to Stoned Template
- All Day Drinkin
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- Ben Nevis
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- Bloik!
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- Buenos Aries
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- Dans Underpant
- Dead Cat
- Failure With Girls
- Fluffy Pup
- Geordie Girl
- Get Weavin
- Gordons Revenge
- Lady Muck
- Lucy Lastic
- Miss Macclesfield
- My Pub
- Nagasaki Sauce
- No Sheep Til Buxton
- Now Hes a Poof
- Stoppy Back
- Sweatty Betty
- Tab After Tab
- The Lads from Macc
- The Macc Lads Party
- Twenty Pints
- Ugly Women
The Macc Lads - Sweaty Betty
She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm. Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm. But after ten pints, she looked quite fit, Couldn't wait to get my hands on her flabby tits. So I said, Slap that and ride the ripples, I just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples. Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins, she was a mound of flesh. Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of pies, Sweaty Betty, she's got enormous thighs, Sweaty Betty, have you smelled her breath? Sweaty Betty, she'd crush a man to death. I knew that she wanted me to shag her, so I stabbed her xxxx with my mutton dagger. I couldn't believe the size of her bum, She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum. I've seen nowt like it since the day I was born, But you know me, I'll shag owt that's warm. Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of chips, Sweaty Betty, she's got massive tits, Sweaty Betty, she's got a huge vagina, Sweaty Betty, you'd fit a bus inside her, She's so obscene, three tons of margarine, She's like a lump of lard But Sweaty Betty makes my willy hard.
Macc Lads - Three Bears: Bestof 1982-1988
Three Bears is made up of promo clips and live clips shot at various venues around the UK - the Carleton Club Morecambe, Fulham Greyhound, Goldwyns Suite in Birmingham and the infamous impromptu gig from the back of a wagon on the promenade in Blackpool. Three Bears features various line-ups backing permanent fixture Muttley. The Manchester Gallery gig was shot two days after Christmas in 1985 just after the release of their debut LP - who could have predicted what came next. All in all, this DVD documents the Macc Lads rise to fame as the most disgusting, nastiest, ugliest, sexist, rudest, crudest, lewdest, drunkest band in the world. Get the beers in!
The Macc Lads - Fluffy Pup (Lyrics in Description)
I spent last night trying to chuck my bird She was clinging to my leg like a homesick turd 'Your tits are too small, and your legs are too short, I want a fit bird from the Sunday Sport, I can't hear my records when you sit on my face,' Then she mouths off in front of my mates.... 'But you told me that you loved me!' 'I never fucking did!' 'You used to bring me flowers!' 'Shut your fucking grid!' 'You acted dead sweet, and you called me fluffy pup!' 'You could cook, you could fuck, you could do the washing up, now I've had enough, Go on, fuck off, get stuffed.' I took her one side, and we started chatting: 'Tell the lads that, I'll kick your fucking twat in! Now piss off back to your mother's, I've had enough, say another word, you'll get a boot up the chuff, You're spotty, you're ugly, you smell like Billingsgate,' Then she mouths off in front of my mates..... I stormed off, I was going crazy, When I got to the chippy, I had one foot in the grave, She's got a seven foot dad, (well, just about) He was going to rip my liver out, I said: 'Here you go, grandad, your turn to hold her,' There was half a pint of gravy on the chip on my shoulder.... ©1989 The Macc Lads NB-'Billingsgate'- A famous fish market, where many of the porters have gone on to greater things: EG- Cod Stewart, Tuna Stubbs, Feargal Sharkey, Skate Moss, Beluga Lugosi, Salmon Rushdie and half of the Mackerelsfield Town Football team. www.macclads.co.uk
Germans - The Macc Lads.
©1990 The Macc Lads Sitting on the bog in foreign parts, looking round for anything to wipe my arse, There's a second hand curry splattered round the rim, And red and black scrapings from an Arab's foreskin You can't drink the water, you've got to boil it All the women smell of Egyptian toilets There's a shitty clogged-up copper pipe sticking out of the bowl Hosepipes, flies, foreign smells, no fucking toilet roll. It was a cheap package holiday with a guarantee- You'll pass nothing solid 'til you're back in Macclesfield They warned me not to eat the food, and everything's in litres But they didn't say a word about a million sausage eaters. Squareheads in the pubs, Jerries on the streets, Krauts in the bars, Erics on the beach Got to do something fast to clear away this shit, I'll have to wipe my bottom on a passing Fritz. Oi! Adolf! Shut your fucking trap Take your Merc and piss off back with your holiday schnapps (snaps) Oi! Adolf! Stop pushing in the queue, Try pushing into Poland and we'll beat you black and blue I'm an Englishman abroad and my ringpiece is a mess My foot's wedged against the door to keep out the SS This foreign khasi stinks of daygo turds that missed the bowl There's Huns outside, slapping thighs and wearing lederhosen. I hope these German bastards have the runs as bad as me, I'll fight them on the beaches to defend my lavatory I'm shouting: 'Fuck off, Herman, who won the fucking war?' The fuckers pushed their gaspipes under my bog door. Oi! Adolf <b>...</b>
Macc Lads beer necessities Mutley mclad Macclesfield Town FC
Arthur Shit supporting The Macc Lads "Light my fart"
"contains offensive language and clothing" if easilly offended then dont watch. this video features the talents of Arthur Shit (brother of Eddie) supporting the Macc Lads @ the filming of their video "Sex, Pies & Videotape" recorded @ the International 2 Manchester in June 1991. You will need a towel to watch this !By the way the following evening the one and only "David Bowie" was performing on the same hallowed turf as King Arthur with "Tin Machine". At least one of us went on to greater things............. Diz.....
Torremolinos - The Macc Lads.
© 1987 The Macc Lads Flew out of Ringway, BOAC, spent a packet on duty-free Got our passports and we had our shots, just hope its not too fucking hot Got dead pissed-up on the plane, couldn't wait to get to Spain The crumpet was so fit I nearly came We all went down Torremolinos, I pulled this bird from Pontefract I got a big red ring round the base of my penis It wasn't Boots 17, and that's a fact She was just dirty, it was a Club 18-30 We went round nicking from tourist shops, Stez Styx went battering greasy wops Beater complained about the lousy beer Chorley ate paella, he got diarrhoea Knobby's looking at the tits, Barrel's eating egg and chips Don't drink the water, it'll give you the shits We all went down Costa Blanca, Stez pulled this bird from Prestatyn (press that in) But he didn't pull it out, he's a fucking wanker, Now half the kids in Wales look like him She was just dirty, it was a Club 18-30 NB- BOAC - A British airline - now gone the way of all flesh. Boots 17 - A type of lipstick used by quality boilers. Paella- Foreign for "chips".
Macc Lads Bitter Fit Crack Torremolinos Muttley mclad Stez Styx Macclesfield Town FC
Arthur Shit supporting The Macc Lads. "Fool for your curry"
"contains offensive language and clothing" if easilly offended then dont watch. this video features the talents of Arthur Shit (brother of Eddie) supporting the Macc Lads @ the filming of their video "Sex, Pies & Videotape" recorded @ the International 2 Manchester in June 1991. You will need a towel to watch this !By the way the following evening the one and only "David Bowie" was performing on the same hallowed turf as King Arthur with "Tin Machine". At least one of us went on to greater things............. Diz.....
